Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Stupid riddle

So I was asked a riddle recently, and I can't figure out the answer.  It has only been about 5 hours, but its killing me not knowing the answer.  I think I'm not going sleep tonight, just because I can't figure it out. 
"It is smoother than silk, softer than rose petals, stronger than a wall, more resilient than a forest, desired more than diamonds, and scarier than the darkest pit."
...I think I'm going to come up with a really obscure riddle just to mess this person up. 

Saturday, June 8, 2013

What is strength?

So a little while ago I was reading through some really old Facebook messages.  In one of them, I was told that I was the strongest person to the person I was talking to.  I thought, "That's interesting. To this person, my strength is valuable.  So what makes up my strength?"  I couldn't completely figure it out (obviously) because I'm not them, and I can't read minds.  But I got a general idea on my strong and weak points of my personality.
I got curious as to what people's opinions on what internal strength is.  So I asked a couple friends.  One of them thought that it was the ability to be consistent or even excel in times of heightened stress.  In that case, I guess I'm pretty strong.  I have a pretty hectic life, and it always somehow works out.  But I don't really think that internal strength is just simply being able to handle millions of things at once.  There must be more to it. 
I asked another friend.  They thought that it was the ability to come out of anything with their head held high.  I gave it some thought, and I think that it's an add on to the previous point.  If you can handle lots of stuff, that doesn't mean that you will come out of it looking victorious.  You could finish a race looking defeated.  So I thought, yeah, its a good answer. But can we go deeper? (Inception BWAAAA)
The same person who gave the previous answer added that you must have passion and purpose to have strength.  I didn't really get it at first, so I though how it applied to me.  Do I have passion?  Yeah, music.  So I have purpose?  Sure, my purpose is to pass on my passion.  So how does having these two items make a person stronger?  I guess the answer is sort of within the question itself.  By having a goal (purpose), and a passion for it, you create yourself a determination to finish things, to accomplish, to create, to dream, and to inspire. 
I asked of yet another opinion.  This person said that strength was discipline.  I completely agree.  I kind of watch in envy of those people who can do stuff immediately, get things done, the ambitious people who achieve great things because of their practiced discipline.  I may have a little, but there are certainly people I look up to for their discipline. 
I got one more opinion.  This person said that strength was the ability to know what is more important, and give up things for others.  I thought this was more of wisdom rather than strength, but after giving it a little thought, I figured that in order to have wisdom, you need to have strength.  On more than one occasion in your life, you will need to sacrifice something.  It takes wisdom to know what to give up, and it takes strength and courage to actually give it up. 
This person also said that strength was being able to do things that scare you.  When I read this, I thought of our band teacher.  He just joined our school two years ago, having no idea how our school uniquely functions.  He just kind of closed his eyes, wished for the best, and jumped in the water.  And he did good!  Right now, our Jr. High band program is one of the best in our province.  If I were him, I would show a little more hesitation.  I mean, that's scary, doing what he did!  He just got a new job, which included taking on 90 kids, learning with a new set of coworkers, the responsibility of being a teacher, and the the job of learning about 90 kids.  How did he come out of this huge change in life with such positive results?  The last person that answered added on to their previous answers.  Strength is having confidence and faith in God.  This completely goes right in hand with Phillipians 4:13. "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me!"  I have witnessed that if God asks you to jump into choppy waters blindfolded, you don't have to worry too much!  Because there is a protecting force around you that is stronger than death itself. 

Friday, May 31, 2013

My wonderful and irritating brain

I was recently asked what is the hardest part of composing music.  My first response was "finding a title".  Seriously, for me, it takes waaaaay too much effort.  More than it should, at least.  If I spend 4 days working on a song, I usually spend the same amount of time looking for a title.  My brain just lacks creativity with words.  I suck at poetry.  It usually seems too casual, or awkward in some way.  I rarely have been satisfied at my work titles. 
The other really frustrating thing about composing is getting ideas on paper (or some other way of remembering ideas). I have actually thought of hundreds of musical ideas that would create pieces that last at least 3 minutes long.  They all sound so good on my head!  But as soon as I get to the piano to plunk it out, *poof* it's gone.  I can't retrieve it.  Most of my good ideas go down the drain in less than 30 seconds, and I have no idea how. 
Aaauuurrgh so frustrating!!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Bus ride!

So I'm sitting here on the bus, a little bored.  We just finished watching the Hobbit, which I half watched, and half slept through.  My friend beside me is playing a card game in which I have no interest, and the people on my right are playing matchmaking.  And they look like they are enjoying it waaaaay too much.  I can't lie, I would probably enjoy it too.  And as much as I wanted to say something, it didn't really look like they were interested in including anybody.  I thought a little to myself, "what makes topics like these so interesting?"
It took me a while.  It's matchmaking.  Who wouldn't want to share their opinions on other's compatibilities with another person, and giggle on how good or bad it would be?  I gotta admit, it's actually really fun to mess with or imagine other peoples love lives and discuss it with others.  Its like discussing shipping.  (Google it if you don't know)
Then a different perspective hit me: it's fun to imagine these things.  But what if you actually try to put it in motion?  Is that really okay?  You're manipulating two peoples emotions to satisfy your imagination, it's like playing god (sorta).  So is it really for the better or the worst?  What if its well intended?  What if two people would be really be good for each other, but you as a friend thinks they need a little push?
I happened to be one of those people in a couple that "needed a little push".  So we were given one by a common friend.  But right now, I'm still not really sure whether it was a good idea or not.  We had started the relationship, and the best and worst times of my life occurred.  When it was still going on, I thought it was a really bad thing.  But now, I'm not so sure.  Was my past (and only) relationship a more positive relationship, or a more negative relationship?
So when I heard the people beside me discussing how they can start couples going together (just theories)  I kind of went into a down mode of tuning people out so I could think of an answer. 
I couldn't think of one, so I decides to write this down.  I still don't have an answer.
Why does love have to be such a simple yet complex drama-inducing topic? 

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

My family

So today I was at a youth year end party.  At one point, we started talking about extended family.  I was asked about my family, and I instantly tensed a little.  The closest relatives awe had living to us was just 30 minutes away.  However, we never get together where family normally would, like Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Chinese New Year.  Why?  My parents and my uncle and aunt butt heads.  It kinda started with my little sister.  She was really young, and hadn't really learned manners yet.  One thing was clear: she hated girly things.  Anything pink to her was deadly.  So when my aunt got her pink Dora sandals for her 6th birthday, she made a sour face and refused it.  My aunt, being a little of a penny pincher, didn't like my sister's reaction.  She kind of took it out on my mom.  When they say in-laws don't get along, its definitely true here.  Over the past couple years some nasty emails have flown and I didn't enjoy hearing them one bit.  My grandparents came from Hong Kong  to visit 2 years ago.  Somehow, my parents and my uncle and aunt got in a fight while they where visiting.  My parents didn't like the situation we where in, so my dad did the apologetic gesture of pouring tea for everyone at dinner.  Even after that, we still had tension without even seeing each other.  My parents sent them money as a Christmas gift, knowing that they had low income.  However, our Christmas card from them arrived with the money we just sent them. 
Recently, my uncle invited us to attend his ceremony that promotes him from pastor to reverend.  I have to admit, I didn't have a good time.  I'm happy for him achieving a major milestone in his life, but I didn't like the fact that our two families barely interacted.  All I remembered was a picture, and that's it.  We didn't even sit together.
So why do I hate talking about extended family?  Because the relationships are not good.  It's that awkward relationship in which you aren't flat out hating each other, nor are you on good terms.  It's in the middle, and it hurts me to think about it.  It makes me hate family reunion.
And most our other relatives live in China.  So we don't see our whole extended family a lot.  But why can't we get along with our brothers and sisters that just live a half hour drive away?

Thursday, May 2, 2013

A reflective contest

So my CALM teacher made my class sign up for a website where you can search and earn scholarships from.  I entered a contest on it, so I could get the chance of $250.  The question was: "What was your best/worst summer job experience?" or "What would be the best/worst summer job?"

Here's my answer.  

I've only ever had one summer job, and that was working in a medical clinic.  I sat in a room in the back and did electronic paperwork and scanning.  I must admit, it was the most boring work I have ever done.  Period.  I spent countless hours doing the same thing over and over again. However, the pay was good and everyone apparently loved me by the end of the summer, because I had caught them up on 2 month's worth of work that no one wanted to do.  

I don't think that it was the worst job ever.  Why?  Because I was proud of myself for lifting other people in the area up.  Sure, I was bored to death from it, but I still had become a hero without being seen.  That was what made me appreciate my position.

I think the worst jov ever would be a job where you can't appreciate yourself, or yo hate what your doing with no gain.  It's a little pointless to be there if your attitude is in the wrong place!  Your performance (and pay) depends on your work morale!

I you can, go for the best job: a job that you love.  In my case, it would be working at a music store, or a recording studio.  Whatever your passion is, you should pursue it!